I've had intentions to start a blog for quite some time now. I have been told more than once it is my duty as a responsible citizen of the information age to keep my friends and family informed on the crazy happenings of my life via an internet presense. Okay, here you go, entry number one. Let's talk about inertia.
I'm the first to admit I'm not the most ambitious person in the world. I won't go so far as to call myself lazy because once I overcome the inertia I am actually quite a mover. It's just that I require that extra push. If it doesn't come, I'm likely to sit right where I am, dreaming of life beyond the current stagnant situation but unable to actually take a step in the direction of that life. I have been this way as far back as I can remember. Change scares the hell out of me. And yet I crave it, live for it, even invite it. Maybe this has something to do with growing up in a house that was perpetually being remodeled, my dad's compulsion being home improvement projects, his weakness being finishing. Add to that my mom's compulsion to rewallpaper and rearrange the furniture each week and you've got one bewildered child. Perhaps I grew comfortable with the fearful feeling I had as I was approaching the back door, having walked home from school, hesitating before turning the handle, wondering if I would find the living room and dining area had once again been switched and my bedroom was now where the bathroom had been. Sometimes I would succumb to curiosity, other times I would hesitate a second too long and be paralyzed by fear to the point of sleeping outside so I wouldn't have to face the unknown.
Ok, I'm practicing my exageration skills here, what do you think?
Anyway, the point is that my fear of change has often left me feeling complacent and even lazy. And so I take control of my life by initiating change. And over the years I have come to think of myself of a "type A" rather than the "type B" I presented myself as when I was a child. I am an overacheiver at heart, it is only this issue of inertia which stunts my success.
Unfortunately the man I married has the same issue. While everything else in our relationship is perfect (remember I'm practicing here) there is this issue of overcoming inertia which inspired a recent statement from me during a fit of frustration about items being repeatesly and perpetually on our "to-do" list. Ben was apparently quite amused with my comment. I believe I said this, "There is something fundamentally wrong at the core of our being together - we've got to do something about it one way or another." Now, if you know Ben and I you know we've successfully come through way too much together to even consider going at life separately.. I was able to make the statement I did confidently because I believe wholeheartedly that there is so much "at the core of our being together" which is fundamentally right and good. And so our recent committment is to overcome the inertia.
This week's successes:
- wrote thank you cards (did not send yet, however)
- made Dr. appointments
- called greif counselor
- took a shower (hey its the little things)
- painted living room (well, Alex and Ben did the work, I just directed)
- rearranged living room " (assuring my children are at least as messed up as I am)
- ordered perscription refill before running out of pain meds
- started blog!
Thankyou, Megan, for the extra little push to start this blog. In the future I promise to be less wordy, more interesting and truly informative, more amusing, more prompt.. yeah yeah yeah we'll believe it when we see it.
