Gluten-Free Baking:13, Me:0

If you know me much at all you know I love to cook and bake - particularely to improvise. I am the queen of substitutions and experiments, most of which not only work but are acually requested again. Usually I can't replicate a yummy creation because I rarely remember exactly how I made it - but in attempting to replicate I often come up with an even better creation. I don't know if this is really a talent or an intuition or what exactly but for some reason I seem to be blessed with random but consistent kitchen success! I am not bragging, just setting you up for the disappointment of my latest baking phase.

A few weeks ago we embarked on a new dietary journey - gluten free. Already we had been eating dairy-free as we discovered both Eden and I have major digestive issues associated with dairy. And now we suspected gluten, too, as a trigger for digestive related issues. Since complete testing for diagnosis of celiacs or gluten intollernce is quite invasive we opted to first try changing our diet. Sure enough, after only a few days on the gluten-free diet there were major and obvious improvements. So for now we are sticking to it, learning new eating habits, adding even more raw/natural foods in place of our beloved wheat/barley based foods and navigating the world of shopping, cooking, and baking gluten free. All in all it has been a challenging but not-so-bad adventure. All except for the baking part.

My first attempt at gluten free baking yeilded dry/heavy GF oat flour cookies (regular oats and oat flour are often comtaminated with wheat because they are proccessed and packaged with the same equipment, thus the GF oats) which were promptly tossed int he garbage. Next came the discovery of garbonzo bean flour which I used to make buiscuts (one word - yuck) then brown rice flour and sweet rice flour, amaranth flour, xanthan gum, and arrowroot.. and a flopped banana bread that shrunk when removed from the oven and was tough on the outside and soggy in the middle. Then there were bitter nasty tasting amaranth muffins (I didn't realize amaranth should be refrigerated after opened). After a few other disasters, including a "carrot cake" that resembled fruit leather; and a few new flour combinations, I began pouring over GF blogs and websites gleaning tips and started following GF recipes to a tee, with the same results! To be fair I have to admit I am a bit of a baking perfectionist and all but 2 of my flopped creations were readily consumed by my family but in my opinion they were not fit for sharing with any outside the family, with the exception of the raisin cinnamon GF pancakes which I made from a mix! Also to be fair - GF baking has this advantage over me - I am also baking without dairy and eggs. So really it is a David and Goliath situation.

Pictured above is my latest attempt at GF cranberry walnut muffins which actually taste amazing, though the texture is a bit funky. The soggy middle you see is not a health hazard as they are egg-free. The girls gobbled up two each right out of the oven and Eden said "MOM, these are the best muffins ever - can you make these for my birthday cake but make them lemon?" which was good for my ego but now the pressure is on - can I replicate flopped muffins and alter the flavor by December 30th?? How many attempts will it take? I'd better start baking...

Soggy Run..

About a month ago Ben started running. Yay for him! I wholeheartedly supported and encouraged him but was reluctant to join for a number of reasons. I had tried running as a teenager and again in college I gave it a good go - 3 or 4 months of running a mile or so 5 days a week. But I always felt MISERABLE afterward and never got the energy boost I'd hear others talking about. On top of that I now have two kiddos - how does one run with kids in tow? I could put Mila in a stroller but our jogger had a bad encounter with a male cat and had to be donated in hopes that someone else would have more ambition and diligence to get the cat-pee smell out. That leaves us with a borrowed Maclaren unbrella stroller. Probably not the easiest running partner. And Eden is 4 years old, could she keep up with two (even out-of-shape) adults? Not sure.
Well last week we had childcare arranged for a date night. But by the time we got the kids dropped off Ben and I were both feeling worn out and sluggish from a busy day. "How about a run?" I suggested "Actually that sounds great!" was his reply. So we ran/walked a mile and a half together and it was hard but good! Apparently the absense of a grapefruit-sized tumor in the chest really makes a difference in being able to breath while running! So I've been running now too, sometimes I run up and down the 8 flights of stairs in our apartment a few times, sometimes I run to Grant park and circle the track a couple times. Not pushing too hard yet but it feels great to be doing something good for my body! Ben outpaces me already but its ok since we rarely get to run together anyway, although that may change.. last night we gave it a try. It had been raining off and on all day and the girls had late naps. Ben said "I wonder how we are going to wear them out for bedtime tonight" well the rain let up and we all geared up to go running. As soon as we stepped out we were caught in a downpour, I mean we were thoroughly soaked within seconds. It was a blast! We made it all the way to Grant Park with minimal stops and plenty of puddle stomping! Mila rode in the stroller most of the run but Eden kept up for the most part! Mila made it running around the track once (1/4 mile) which seems a lot for little legs! Ben, Eden, and I got in a total of 2 miles with a couple stops/walks. Not bad and plenty of good wet family fun! After this axperience (including a nasty blister I had aquired the day before running the stairs on tabor in my new not-running-shoes), I think we have no excuse. Whats a little rain? Sore feet - pshaw. It will take 100 degree weather or snow and ice to stop us!

Happy to be alive and well..

Just a quick note to say I'm glad to be here. I don't want to get all heavy about it all but I was just remembering where I was even 6 months ago and am amazed that now I can do almost anything I could do before my surgery, with only occassional aches and pains from overdoing it. And as a bonus, being a couple tumors cancer free-er I have even more energy than I did pre-surgery too! I think the only thing I really can't do now is bungee-jumping and I think I'm ok without that. Life brings along enough unexpected thrills as it is. ;)
-Andrea

Celebrating Spring!

Spring is here! The girls and I were celebrating today.. we made edible nests, handprint lillies, and even dinosaur eggs(in process)! I know, dino eggs? Well, obviously eggs are springy and since Eden and Mila are currently obsessed with dinosaurs, our eggs are HUGE. Remember paper mache?! I hadn't used it since I was smallish. So fun! I think I ended up doing most of the work as the girls got grossed out by the flour/water glueness. But Baby Jude definitely made the most mess!

New Home(s)..

Blog-slacking was too easy for a while because I didn't know anyone was still reading but after emails and even a phone message questioning the abandonment of the blog I decided I better get back to it! Thank you for the interest and the accountability.

Well this month is full of news. Earlier this week my sister and brother-in-law signed papers on their first home, finally after months of delays! So the next weeks will be busy helping with Nephew and painting, etc. We are excited to be a part of making this house a home for Nina and Matthew and Jude.. though we will miss having them in very-short-walking-distance. Congratulations on your new home, Horns!

March 26th will mark five years of marriage for Ben and I. Five, wow. Seems significant. After all we have been through in those five years we are such a tight team it is hard to imagine we were ever not together. We don't exactly finish eachothers sentences, thats just not our style .. but we definitely finish eachothers chores, projects, messes, ideas, plans. And this month we finished something we started together five years ago. On our honeymoon on the Oregon coast five years ago we bought three art prints. We budgeted to have them framed by our one year anniversary. Well babies and medical expenses trumped frames for budget priority and five years later we still had three prints in rolls, such a waste! So, with a portion of our tax return (once a year it pays to be poor!) we finally had them framed! Well we had two of them framed.. and one of those we don't like so well anymore, but on principle, we finished what we started! Well nearly anyway. ;) It really feels good to do something for us, for our home, that is not simply a reaction to what life is throwing our way. We plan to stay in this home for at least the next five years and putting art on the wall feels like a declaration of our intention to stay. I suppose in some way we are also celebrating our "new home". ;)

The other thing we are doing for ourselves this anniversary is going away for our anniversary weekend.. again something we always intended to do but had to postpone for sick newborn or my cancer treatments. We are SO excited to finally be honoring our anniversary. We need some time and space to really be together, fully present without other cares.

Eden Enjoyed her dance class the past six weeks so much we signed up for 3 more months. At the end of this month she will start a "Sleeping Beauty" themed class with a performance in June. It is enchanting to watch her dance, she has a gift for sure. I hope she always find joy in dancing as she does now. Lately I have had trouble keeping up with Eden, she is growing and changing again and seems to move so quickly from one interest to the next, learning so much but always wanting to know more.. I am thankful for dance as her constant love which needs no explaination! She is also becoming quite the teacher as she literally plays "teacher" with Mila and is very patient when her student confuses a demi-plie with an eschape!

Mila is my little helper lately, realizing more and more of her independence, She decided the next step is to use that independence to help Mama. It is endearing, even though much of the "help" makes more work for me! Can I just say Mila is ADORABLE? She is. I can't get anough of that little munchkin. I think she may be in danger of "can do no wrong" in her mother's eyes! Mila has strong emotional intelligence and seems to be aware of and able to adjust to the needs of others so well, and while maintaining her personal boundaries. I like to wonder about how this skill might serve her in a career. I envy her.

Well Ben has a week off for spring break and I think he will be working on journal orders when not helping with the Horns house. I know he is glad for the break, work at CTP is taking a toll on him lately. It will be good for him to get some hands on relief with journal work. I will help. I am able to assist with all stages of custom journal-making now except the stitching. Ah, new goal for this month, learn to stitch journals. It is so good to be productive again! I am also able to earn a bit of money each week as a nanny. This work is a huge blessing! And please, keep the journal orders coming - it is such a wonderful experience for our family to be making journals together. The girls even made their own and of their own accord did some marketing to family, $2 for Eden's and $3 for Milas. Not sure if the supply can meet the demand, they get bored fast, so better order one of Ben's if you are counting on a timely delivery. ;)

I am writing this from Nina and Matthew's apartment as I sit while Jude sleeps. The Horns are over at the house assessing and planning, cleaning and preping for painting party weekend. Jude is stirring.. better go check on him.

Facebook...

Well I've been quite the blog-slacker. I will catch up, at least about my trip to Hawaii, very soon but for now I at least wanted to let any readers know I am finallyback on facebook. So look me up, we can be friends now! ;o) Until we meet again -

Aloha :)

Parking Angel...

Merry Christmas Eve! I still have a stack of "holiday" cards sitting on the desk here so if you haven't got one, do not dispair. I am attempting to get another New Years letter wirtten this year but am not sure it will happen before we spend the week at my parents for Christmas. So.... your "holiday" card, which, take note, doesn't need to be sent before Christmas because it's not a "Christmas" card, should arrive sometime in January.. and before the next holiday, Valentines day. ;) Ahem.

We have had an unusal Christmas this year, and I, being slow to process things, am still a bit awe struck. We literally were not able to budget any money for Christmas as I have not been working and living expenses obviously take priority. So, though somewhat disappointed, we had decided that in keeping with our theme of simplicity we would focus on experiencing the winter holidays in the community as much as possible, and giving homemade gifts for friends and family. There are many free events here in Portland and in the surrounding areas and I made a calender of some favorites and a few new ones to try. The first week in December we spent two dollars for materials for ornament making and set to work. The girls loved it and we let them wrap up the trinkets and decide who to give them to. Typically whenever we had a guest over Eden would remember as they were leaving and would run to get a gift, hand it over with a big "Merry Christmas!" and smile so big. We heard street musicians downtown, experienced the polar express in pajamas at library storytime, cut down "the perfect tree", had friends over for meals, sang Christmas carols for the neighbors, made Christmas cookies, made a gingerbread house with Grandma, visited our special santa (same one we've seen each year since Ben proposed to me on his lap!). We were thoroughly enjoying the season already and then to more than top it off we started getting gifts in the mail, treats hung on our door handle, slipped into pockets.. we really experienced a generous community this year! We received money from an annonymous donor to buy presents for the girls or to use however we wished to make Christmas special. We received gifts from a friends church including gift cards for things both practical and fun. It is a bit overwhelming really. We have already had a fuller Christmas this year than probably ever before and all in the aftermath of months of difficulty and during a time of "poverty". It is incredibly humbling and it makes me want to go adopt a family who is struggling even more than we are and who may not have the support we do because my spirit has truly been lifted and I feel incomplete without reaching out to lift another.
And then a few days ago our apartment manager informed us that another annonymous giver has given up his or her parking place in the garage and is going to continue to pay each month so that we can park there. What?! um, tears. My first thought was one of relief, the safety factor in a busy parking lot with two energetic little girls has been a subconscious concern for a while. But we didn;t even attempt to get on the wait-list for a garage spot because it is an additional $75 a month. Eden and Mila have always loved walking through the garage and asked "why can't we park in here?" Now they say "can we park in the garage again today?!" when we remind them it is ours to park in now every time they are ecstatic. :)
I don't tell all of this to brag by any means, I feel the opposite, that we are in no place to receive all of this and yet because of the kindness and generosilty of our community we have been so blessed. I am uncomfortable that we are so blessed when so many are not but I am trying to enjoy it and allow myself to be inspired to pass it on.
We are off to a Christmas Eve family gathering, until next time, Happy holidays!
-Andrea, Ben, Eden, and Mila